Chapter 26

Thats all I really want to tell you about, I sort of miss it all anyway. I mean don't ever tell anybody anything, because if you do, you start missing everybody.

Chapter 25

I really wish I went back to Mr Antolini's even if he did try all that pervy stuff on me. I had a headache again I thought I had cancer, I read that somewhere if you keep getting headaches and stuff you have cancer, so I had cancer. I just wish I could move to some remote place out west where I could be a deaf mute and make everyone write me notes if they wanted to speak to me. I had to give Pheobe before I went so I went to her school and asked the woman on the desk to pass the message on for her to meet me at the museum. When she met me I told her that I was moving out west, she wanted to come too, I wouldn't let her though so she got all upset with me. Eventually she spoke to me again, so I took her to the carosel in the park. I just watched her go round and round it made me so happy.

Chapter 25

Chapter 24

Mr Antolini used to check up on me all the time after I left Whooten. He was always coming round for dinner so I thought he was the best person I could reach out to. Mr Antolini isn't that old he was around the same age as DB I would love Mr Antolini as a brother instead of DB he disapproves of DB being in Hollywood too. When I got there I felt dizzy outside and after I got taken in I had a banging head too. Mrs Antolini was in the kitchen she was making us coffee or something so me and Mr Antolini had a conversation about me and Pency and if I was passing in English and stuff.

Chapter 23

I wanted somewhere to sleep for the night, so I gave old Mr Antolini a buzz because hes kind and a good person. When I finished speaking to him I lit a cigarette and began to smoke it. I heard my parents coming back in so I put it out as fast as I could and hid in Phoebes room. After mum left her and went in the bathroom I went to Phoebe I had to ask her to borrow money. I began crying when she gave me her money I don't know why but I did. I gave her my red hunting hat in return, it gave me security in so many occasions so I decided to give her my security. On my way out I kind of wanted to get caught, so then maybe I could get help instead of asking for it, maybe someone might notice there is something wrong with me.

Chapter 22

Phoebe wouldn't even look at me she was really disapointed in me, it felt like it did when I left the fencing equiptment on the train at Pency. They wouldn't look at me either. I felt like I was the younger child being told off by a adult but it wasn't it was my kid sister. She asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, I told her I wanted to be a Catcher of the Rye, so I could protect the children. I could have protect Allie then. Phoebe told me to grow up, it reminded me of when old Mr Spencer told me to grow up too. It felt like everyone was telling me to grow up.

Chapter 21

I got to the house and the elevator boy was there I asked him to take me up to the Dicksteins some other people who live on the same floor as us. So he didn't realise I was a Caulfiel and he didn't tell my parents. He told me they was at a party on the 14th floor, I said its ok though I'm their nephiew and they said for me to wait for them in their room. When I got up I went into our house silently. I looked in DBs room because he was away and Phoebe stayed there when he was away, I woke her gently and she threw her arms round me and said "Holden". We started talking and she asked me about school, I had to tell her I got kicked out of Pency. She got really upset with me when I told her that and kept saying "Daddys gonna kill you". All I could say was "Nobodys gonna kill me"

Chapter 20

It was getting late, I couldn't think what to do. I decided to go see old Pheobe and sneak into my house my parents would be out anyway. On my way there I dropped little shirley beans and it shattered into peices, I damn near cried but I took the little peices anyway. I think I'm so upset about Allie becuase I didn't get to go to his funeral and I couldn't say my last goodbye because I was in the hospital with my hand.

Chapter 19

I met Carl in this bar, we got to talking. He told me I was annoying from a early age, well most people tell me thing like that. He told me my mind was immature and that he noticed I wasn't right in the head when I was younger. After Carl went I felt lonesome as hell. I decided to pretend I was shot again, just sat there at the bar clutching my gut, blood dripping on the floor. Maybe I was just wounded mentally and wanted to show it in my own way, I'm not sure.

Chapter 18

I felt really lousy so I decided to go Radio City. I remembered that the girls from the other night who I danced with said they was going there so I thought I would go and have a look. I decided to give old Carl Luce a buzz, this guy from my old school he was real intelectual the kind of guy you can have a good conversation with. I don't really like plays, they're too perfect. Everything always works out, but it never works out for me look at Allie, its not fair.

Chapter 17

I met Sally, boy she looked amazing. I got us a cab to the theater I was kissing her all over on the way there. I don't know though I didn't really love Sally anyway she was someone else I could have gotten attached too and lost, just like Allie. We stopped kissing for a bit, I was a little nervous. I don't know why but I was so I started burning matches until they burned down so I couldn't hold them anymore. After the show I took Sally our for a drink, and told her this crazy idea about running away somewhere but she just turned me down, that made me feel really lousy. I felt so depressed.

Chapter 16

I had nothing else to do so I went to look for a copy of little shirley beans for old Pheobe it was 5 bucks but it was worth it, this stuff is rare. I went to the park to look for Pheobe to give it her to see if she was skating. I asked a little kid if she knew where she was when I got there but she didn't even know her, but she was polite as hell, I liked her. She was having trouble doing up her skates so I helped her out then asked if she knew where Pheobes class might be. She told me the Museum on saturdays but it was sunday so I don't know what use that was to me. I went to look anyway. When I got there it brought back so many memories of my childhood, I was walking through all the sections it reminded me of when I used to come through here. It was getting close to when I was meeting Sally so I put my red hunting hat on and made my way there.

Chapter 15

I woke up the next day around 10, I went for a hamburgers then I went and gave old Sally Hayes a buzz. I spoke to her maid then her dad then her but I got through to her. I asked her about coming to a Matinee with me she said she would. I told her were and when to meet me. I went over to the place a little early so I went for a bite to eat, when I got there I saw two nuns so I gave them some money for their charity. They were real nice people I got into a conversation with them about Romeo and Juliet. I think Romeo and Juliet deserved to die, well it was their own fault for their death anyway but I mean Mercutio didn't even deserve to die. Boy that reminds me of Allie.

Chapter 14

Old sunny left, Boy I felt lousy, I mean I felt really really depressed. I do that sometimes. Just get depressed. To make it even worse Sunny and Maurice the elevator boy came up asking for more money, I only gave her five bucks like I was told it should cost but they wanted 5 more. He kept asking me for the money but I wasn't going to hand it over to him, I was more concerened I was in my pj's boy that was embarassing. I wouldn't have felt so bad if I wasn't in my pj's. He started to get rough with me, Sonny just took the money herself. I called them crooks I don't think Maurice liked than he hit me. I was lay they on the floor I was on my own for a while there just thinking. Eventually I got up onto my feet and had some crazy imagination about killing Maurice, Boy the movies can really mess with you.

Chapter 13

I got bored of riding in all these cabs, so I walked all the way back to the hotel, 40 blocks, boy. It was as cold as hell, I put my red hunting hat on, I couldn't put my gloves on though some bastard at pency stole them. If I knew who it was I probably wouldn't have done much though, I'm a yellow person. When I got to the hotel on my way up the elevator the elevator boy offered me a good time with a girl, I was loaded so I thought why not. I got myself all ready but when she came I didn't feel up too it, so I started to shoot the bull about me having some operation on my chlavicord or something, she wouldn't leave for a while but I got her to go eventually. Thats probably because she was so young and I think young girls are too innocent for the time.

My Favourite Songs

New York New york
I don’t like Mondays
Sex Bomb
Peter pan theme tune
Sister Act Happy days song
I gotta get through this
I’m in the mood for dancing
Somewhere else
Oxygen- Willy Mason
The pretender
Stop the clocks
Here without you
The great escape
Let it snow
I wanna break free
Yellow
The boulevard of broken dreams
Sweet Child Of Mine
Give Me Shelter
I Will Always Love You

Caulfields Sonnet

Movies I hate, God dam they are phoney
Don’t leave my side I hate being lonely
Don’t talk to me like that, don’t call me kid
In winter do the ducks go to Madrid?

Why does Stradlater have to be so vain?
He best not have laid a finger, on Jane
I was so upset when, old Allie died
When Stradlater hit me, I damn near cried

I think there is something wrong, with my mind
Maybe I should get, Psychoanalyzed
The crumby hotel, full of damn perverts
I hate that pimp, my stomach still damn hurts

I want to stay young, don’t let me grow old
Keep reading my book, watch my life unfold

Chapter 12

I was in my cab home from watching old ernie play the piano. I had to leave cause one of DB's phoney friends came and spoke to me, she even asked me to join her for a drink! Maybe she hoped I would have told DB something nice about her. People are always ruining thing, but oh well this taxi driver was a nice guy, He kept getting all sore though when I was asking him about where the ducks go in winter, but he kept saying something about the stupid fish, I didn't want to be a fish I wanted to be a duck.

Chapter 11

Me and Jane had a intimate relation ship, but not sex though. We just had a lot of trust and stuff, I even showed here Allies baseball mit. I remember once we played golf together, she lost eight balls! I improved her game a lot though. I’m a good golfer. One time me and Jane was out playing checkers and her step dad Cudahy came out and asked her if she knew were any cigarettes was, and Jane didn't answer. When he went in she began to cry I damn near sat in her lap, I was kissing her all over except her mouth. I really felt like we were close to necking.

Chapter 10

I got damn near ringing Phoebe my kid sister, but I would have had to have spoke to my parents and they would know I'm in NY. But I really do love shooting the bull with Phoebe she is my best sibling. I used to take her to the cinemas all the time, even though I hate them phoney places. I couldn't think of anyone to ring so i just asked the waitor for a drink, but he wouldn't get me anything alcoholic. I hate being a minor but I want to stay young.

Chapter 9

I was in cab with some driver who told me I had no direction in life and that I was wild, she was probably right. I was sure I had heard that somewhere before, I got put my red hunting hat back on. I felt like I had left my own little world and entered the wide world for everyone. I asked him where the ducks go in winter but he didn't seem too interested, I want to be like the ducks, I want somewhere to go. When I got into the hotel I was shocked by what I saw from my room, a couple spitting on each other, and all sorts of crazy stuff. This hotel was full of perverts. I'm probably the biggest sex mainiac you will ever see but its not something I understand too hot.

Chapter 8

I was making my way onto the train, it was cold as hell and I still had my Red Hunting hat on, when I got on the train I took it off, I felt safe and secure inside the train, like I was alone in my own world and I was in my own world. I met a students Mum on the train, so I started to shoot the bull wit her a bit, it got from bad to worse I said I was ill, and then told her I had a tuma, that's the thing with me once I start lieing I find it hard to stop.

Chapter 7

It was dark, so I turned the lights on. I feel safer when the lights are on. I walked over to the window and just stared into the distance, I wanted to be in a place much better than this. I felt so alone I just wanted someone with me to comfort me and look after me. I couldn't stop thinking about being in a better place with people I loved around me, so I put on my Red Hunting Hat, I feel better when I have my hat on.

Chapter 6

I couldn't remember much about Jane but I remember little things like, when we played checkers she likes to keep her kings on the back row. I remembered her young and innocent, that's maybe why I got so angry when he started talking about her in that way. I didn't like Stradlater much as it was, he was athletic and thought so much of himself. I hate athletic people. I had to go and relax, so I went for a smoke in the hall.

Allie

July Was The Month
And Pain Came alot that Year
Stay With Me Always

Chapter 5

I love when it snows, I really do. I mean its so white and pure, I love pure things especially it usually means it's not phoney, Anyway I had to write this stupid report for stradlater and all, I couldn't think what to write about, but something reminded me of my brother Allie. He died 3 years ago on july 18th 1946, I really looked up to him he was my idol. So I wrote about Old Allie's Baseball mit. I put on my red hunting hat to help me concentrate and wrote all the poems written on it down, just changing the name from Allie so nobody knew it was my brother and not stradlaters.

Chapter 4

I was with Stradler my roommate in the can, listening to his crumby Whistling while he shaved and fell in love with himself in the mirror, I hate that when you got goddam hotshots that know they are loving themselves, I really do. We began talking I found out that he was taking a girl I once knew out on a date. Jane Gallagher, what a girl she was too. I got all excited when she mentioned my name. I was asking Stradler all about her but he was too goddam concerned with his shaving. She didn't deserve a guy like him anyway, her crumby Father in Law was horrible to her walking around naked in front of her and all, she had a hard life at home she didn't need a sonuvabitch only concerned with himself. He best not hurt her or Else.

Chapter 3

I was in my crumby room having some relaxing time with my hunting hat on with the point to the back, I like it like that. It makes me look good. I love wearing my hat when I'm relaxing or on my own, I really do. It helps me concentrate on my reading, I'm reading "Out of Africa" now it was an accident that I chose that one but it seems to be ok.
Half way through my reading that goddam sonuvabitch Ackley came in, he started telling me about how many people he hates I couldn't take much notice I couldn't help glaring at his lousy teeth. I think that he is similar to me in his personalty, maybe that is why I can't stand him. I made something up to get rid of him, I'm a terrific liar aren't I?

Old Mr Spencer

I went to old spencer the other day, and don't I regret it. I'm not particularly fond of old people to start with. He had terrible gripper so he was wrapped in his old Navajo blanket he bought, he gets a big bang out of buying little things like that. He was sat in a chair next to his bed, I could see his horrible bump chest, I couldn't bare to look at it. He began to lecture me about how I could do better and that I will realise when its too late, I knew it goddam but I couldn't pay attention all I could notice was his horrible chest and the strong Vicks Nose Drops Smell circulating the room. Then he asked me to pass him my exam paper, nasty trick. I got it him and he gave me another goddam lecture about my work being inadequit, then he began to read it out loud. I will never forgive him for that. I just wanted to get out, I wish I had never came.

I can't believe what them phoneys at Pency Prep did to me! Kicking me out of their crumby school when my family paid good money! Goddam I know I ain't the best but and I didn't try my hardest but least I ain't phoney!
I was only passing in one subject, English. I guess that runs in my family, my brother D.B is a famous screen writer now. He didn't used to be he just wrote stories for us my favourite was "The Seceret Goldfish", until them phoney movie makers got hold of him. It Killed me.
Anyway back to that goddam school, I'm so annoyed! Its not like I had many friends there, I never do but at least they could have given me a decent goodbye. The only person who seemed to care was old Mr Spencer, he seemed a lil' disappointed in me but at least he said goodbye.

How I Got Here.......

I can't believe what they did to me. I know I'm not the smartest kid, but least I aint a phoney. They said I'm bringing the grade average down, but my family paid good money for this, they can't kick me out! I know I aint got many friends thier but at least I tried, those godam phoneys! I know I can do better if I try, but at least I'm passing in English.